1. Little arguments escalate into ugly fights with accusations, criticisms, name calling, or bringing up past hurts.
2. My partner criticizes or belittles my opinions, feelings, or desires.
3. My partner seems to view my words or actions more negatively than I mean them to be.
4. I do not feel valued by my partner.
5. I don’t feel it is "safe" to share my true feelings, thoughts and desires in our relationship.
6. I think seriously about what it would be like to date or marry someone else.
7. I feel lonely in this relationship.
8. When we argue, one of us withdraws – that is doesn’t want to talk about it anymore – or leaves the scene.

These statements are the best predictors of marital distress and divorce. A persistent pattern of true answers over time can be a warning signal that your relationship needs help.